Cold in Haven Transcript

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The following is a transcript of the Twitter accounts of @VinceHaven, @DaveHaven, and @ColdInHaven from August 11, 2011 to September 29, 2011. Comments in red brackets [like this] are information provided by the Haven Public Library.

[Beginning of Transcript]

August 11, 2011

DaveHaven (11:05 am):

@VinceHaven Now try it. Use the hashtag #HavenNews. We're trying to draw attention to the paper here.

VinceHaven (11:06 am):

@DaveHavenTesting. Is this thing on? Hello? Testing! #HavenNews

DaveHaven (11:06 am):

@VinceHaven The real test is going to be if you can find anything useful to say. Might be a first. Now, follow me. #HavenNews

DaveHaven (11:06 am):

@VinceHaven For the love of -- Never mind, I’ll show you. #HavenNews

VinceHaven (11:20 am):

When Dave said "follow me", I thought we were getting lunch. This twitting is complicated. #HavenNews

DaveHaven (11:39 am):

@VinceHaven It's "tweeting," Vince. The only twit involved here is you. Now get back to work.

August 12, 2011

DaveHaven (7:12 am)

@VinceHaven Wait a minute. How did you get more followers than me? #HavenNews

VinceHaven (7:12 am):

@DaveHaven Charm. Tact. Civility. You should try it sometime. #HavenNews

DaveHaven (7:12 am):

@VinceHaven You’re a piece of work, Vince. #HavenNews

VinceHaven (7:12 am):

@DaveHaven Let's make this interesting. A hundred bucks says I have more followers than you in 5 weeks. #HavenNews

DaveHaven (7:13 am):

@VinceHaven $100? That’s it? How about loser runs naked through #Haven? #HavenNews

VinceHaven (7:13 am):

@DaveHaven As long as I don't have to watch you do it. You're on. #HavenNews

DaveHaven (7:14 am):

@VinceHaven You're on! #HavenNews

VinceHaven (1:17 pm):

@DaveHaven I made some posters -- you're gonna lose! #HavenNews

DaveHaven (1:17 pm):

@VinceHaven Great idea, Vince! ...because posters work on the internet. Good luck with that. #HavenNews

VinceHaven (1:19 pm):

@DaveHaven I'm after real people. #HavenNews

DaveHaven (1:20 pm):

@VinceHaven I'm sure your friends are already signed up. Both of 'em. #HavenNews

VinceHaven (1:21 pm):

@DaveHaven You snooze you lose, naked boy. #HavenNews

ColdInHaven (2:56 pm):


DaveHaven (2:56 pm):

@ColdInHaven @VinceHaven What's wrong? #HavenNews

ColdInHaven (2:56pm):


VinceHaven (2:57 pm):

@ColdInHaven @DaveHaven What do you mean by "crazy?" #HavenNews

DaveHaven (2:57pm):

@ColdInHaven @VinceHaven Call the cops! #HavenNews

VinceHaven (2:59 pm):

@ColdInHaven @DaveHaven You there? #HavenNews

DaveHaven (3:00 pm):

@VinceHaven Guess that's what you call a tweet and run, lol. Cranks everywhere. #HavenNews

VinceHaven (3:00 pm):

@DaveHaven WHy did you call me "lol"? #HavenNews

DaveHaven (3:02 pm):

@VinceHaven Vince, you're hopeless. Go get dressed for the wedding. #HavenNews

VinceHaven (3:12pm):

@DaveHaven It's not a wedding, it's a rehearsal. #HavenNews

DaveHaven (3:11 pm):

@VinceHaven Good, you can rehearse losing. #HavenNews

[Episode 2x05 Roots first aired during this interval.]

August 14, 2011

VinceHaven (10:14 am):

@aeradia @davehaven What do you mean, "verify?" Do they come and investigate us? #HavenNews

DaveHaven (10:16 am):

@VinceHaven @aeradia Why don't you call them and find out? They can verify you're a techno-nitwit! They aren't the FBI. #HavenNews

August 15, 2011

VinceHaven (3:45 pm):

News Flash: America’s favorite banana, the Cavendish, is slowly going extinct. What will we do without bananas? #HavenNews

DaveHaven (3:47 pm):

@VinceHaven: News Flash: America’s favorite banana is going extinct. #HavenNews News Flash: no one cares, Vince

VinceHaven (3:55 pm):

“@Kimsmile68: @VinceHaven I thought it was Chiquita? #havennews”. That's a brand, the Cavendish is a species. The second big one to go.

VinceHaven (4:01 pm):

“@Ram3umptom: @VinceHaven Why, what is happening to them?”. Fungus. The Gros Michel used to be the big banana. It went extinct in the 50's

DaveHaven (4:06 pm):

#HavenNews @VinceHaven Thank you, Vince, for the latest tropical fruit update. We were all riveted.

VinceHaven (4:08 pm):

“@DaveHaven: #HavenNews @VinceHaven ...We were all riveted.” People care about little things. That's how I'm going to win. Just watch. ;-)

ColdInHaven (5:19 pm):

@Davehaven @VinceHaven Are you there? I'm afraid. #HavenNews

DaveHaven (5:20 pm):

@ColdInHaven: @Davehaven @VinceHaven Are you there? I'm afraid. #HavenNews”. You're back! What's the problem?

ColdInHaven (5:24 pm):

@Davehaven @VinceHaven This is my problem. #HavenNews http://t.co/GbTxqIR

[The tweet links to the photo shown at left. A larger version can be seen in the "Cold in Haven" album in the "Photos" tab.]

DaveHaven (5:26 pm):

@ColdInHaven Get off Twitter and call me.

ColdInHaven (5:27 pm):

“@DaveHaven: @ColdInHaven Get off Twitter and call me.” @VinceHaven just tell me What's going on! #HavenNews

VinceHaven (5:28 pm):

@ColdInHaven @DaveHaven Maybe you should check your A/C's thermostat, ColdInHaven. Looks like it's set a little low! #HavenNews

DaveHaven (5:30 pm):

@ColdInHaven If you're upset about something happening at your house, call the police. They'll be happy to help you. #HavenNews

VinceHaven (5:31 pm):

@ColdInHaven @DaveHaven Dave's right. Call Audrey and Nathan. Okay? #HavenNews

DaveHaven (5:33 pm):

@VinceHaven: @ColdInHaven @DaveHaven Dave's right. Call Audrey and Nathan. Okay? #HavenNews ColdinHaven -- Are you there?

August 17, 2011

VinceHaven (3:33 pm):

The Sea Dogs beat the Clippers 4-2 in a make up for the game called on account of lightning. Just as electrifying! Hi ho! #HavenNews

DaveHaven (3:37 pm):

A reminder to parents that Officer Parker of the HPD will be talking at the elementary school next Tuesday. Expect arrests. ;-) #HavenNews

August 18, 2011

VinceHaven (3:52 pm):

We'd like to welcome Haven Joe's Bakery to town! Good luck, Joe -- you're in a 'cruller' business than most! #HavenNews

DaveHaven (3:54 pm):

'@vincehaven: Good luck, Joe -- you're in a 'cruller' business than most! #HavenNews' Very punny, Vince. Or should I say 'half-baked?

ColdInHaven (4:00 pm):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven I've been waiting for you. Are you there? #HavenNews

ColdInHaven (4:01 pm):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven It happened again. #HavenNews http://t.co/MKNtnWs

[The tweet links to the photo shown at left. A larger version can be seen in the "Cold in Haven" album in the "Photos" tab.]

VinceHaven (4:06 pm):

@ColdInHaven Your beer froze, huh? Send your address, I know a guy does refrigerators, named Dwight. He'll treat you right. #HavenNews

ColdInHaven (4:09 pm):

@VinceHaven @ColdInHaven, we can't help you if you won't tell us who you are.

ColdInHaven (4:12 pm):

@VinceHaven @DaveHaven That's what you're going to tell me, right? #HavenNews

DaveHaven (4:14 pm):

'@ColdInHaven: @VinceHaven @DaveHaven That's what you're going to tell me, right? #HavenNews' Tell us who you are if you want help.

DaveHaven (4:16 pm):

'@SaraFreeman10: @ColdInHaven @VinceHaven @DaveHaven You have to reveal yourself eventually. If you want them to help.'. Thank you!

VinceHaven (4:17 pm):

@DaveHaven @ColdInHaven I'm not sure what the problem IS. Cold beer is a solution, not a problem. #HavenNews

DaveHaven (4:19 pm):

@ColdInHaven @VinceHaven You still there, Cold?

VinceHaven (4:20 pm):

@DaveHaven This 'Cold' person is getting frustrating.

ColdInHaven (4:22 pm):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven You don't understand...I can't do this now. #HavenNews

August 19, 2011

[Episode 2x06 Audrey Parker's Day Off first aired during this interval.]

August 22, 2011

DaveHaven (12:53 pm):

Made my own Clamato juice for the first time last night! #HavenNews

VinceHaven (12:55 pm):

'@DaveHaven: Made my own Clamato juice for the first time last night! #HavenNews'. Watching Dave 'juice' a clam? Oh my god...

DaveHaven (12:57 pm):

@VinceHaven If you want a good bloody mary, you have to juice a few clams. #HavenNews

VinceHaven (12:59 pm):

'@DaveHaven: @VinceHaven ...you have to juice a few clams. #HavenNews' Dave, 'clam' and 'juice' are not words that belong together.

August 26, 2011

ColdInHaven (4:41 pm):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven I'm afraid. Things keep freezing. Look. #HavenNews http://t.co/r3LkR1t

[The tweet links to the photo shown at left. A larger version can be seen in the "Cold in Haven" album in the "Photos" tab.]

VinceHaven (4:47 pm):

@ColdInHaven @DaveHaven ColdInHaven, you're just going photoshopping as far as I can tell. I don't know what you want from us. #HavenNews

ColdInHaven (4:48 pm):

@VinceHaven @DaveHaven It's not a trick. I woke up and my room was covered in ice this morning! #HavenNews

VinceHaven (4:52 pm):

@ColdInHaven We get all kinds of whacko stories reported to us. I know a crank when I see one. Or rather DON'T. Cranks hide. #HavenNews

ColdInHaven (4:55 pm):

@VinceHaven I've heard what happens to people who go public with their problems! How can you ask me to do that? #HavenNews

VinceHaven (4:56 pm):

@ColdInHaven Your problem is either psychological or someone is trying to gaslight you. Either way, the police can help. #HavenNews

ColdInHaven (4:59 pm):

@VinceHaven @DaveHaven How can I convince you I have a real problem? How do I get you to help me? #HavenNews

VinceHaven (5:04 pm):

A reminder, we're expecting higher than normal tides. Careful around the water this week, I don't want to lose any followers! ;-) #HavenNews

ColdInHaven (5:05 pm):

@HavenVince @HavenDave I'll find a way to get through to you. #HavenNews

DaveHaven (5:17 pm)

I taught Duke how to juice a clam, so stay dry at the Gull with me! He's running a special on "Ceasar" cocktails. Half-off! #HavenNews

DaveHaven (6:54 pm):

'@RGDJ: @DaveHaven #HavenNews I've come to swallow this cocktail, not to praise it!' You'll praise this one -- and the price! ;-)

DaveHaven (6:58 pm):

'@rhonnybaby: @DaveHaven My favorite ...with Polar Ice Vodka, & lots of spice! But it's spelled "Caesar".' I'll fire my proofreader. ;-)

DaveHaven (7:03 pm):

'@Windie_Jeider: @DaveHaven what is your favorite drink?' Caesars, today; Mai tais not long ago. May have to bring back the Rusty Nail soon.

[Episode 2x07 The Tides That Bind first aired during this interval.]

August 30, 2011

DaveHaven (1:56 pm):

@JohnBrute @VinceHaven This is how I'll win: '@CourtastrophexD: ...you're my fave, so my add counts as two for you =)" Thank you!

VinceHaven (2:09 pm):

@DaveHaven: 'This is how I'll win: ''@CourtastrophexD:...you're my fave, so my add counts as two for you =)'' She'll come around #HavenNews

VinceHaven (2:10 pm):

Couldn't sleep last night, was thinking about how the earths' magnetic poles are due to flip any time now. That'll be a mess! #HavenNews

DaveHaven (2:12 pm):

'@vincehaven: ?..thinking about how the earths' magnetic poles are due to flip any time now.' #HavenNews" Vince, your trivia is trivial

VinceHaven (2:18 pm):

#HavenNews @DaveHaven 'Vince, your trivia is trivial.' Knowledge is power...& it seems trivia is popular! Call me when you pass my total ;-)

September 2, 2011

ColdInHaven (2:31 pm):

@VinceHaven @DaveHaven Enough playing! I need your help. And I know you can help me. Because you know things.... #HavenNews

VinceHaven (2:51 pm):

#ColdInHaven Of course we know things. I know about the planets, @DaveHaven thinks he knows everything else (he doesn't). #HavenNews

DaveHaven (2:59 pm):

@ColdInHaven My brother's right for a change; we know only what two small town newspapermen need to know. Sorry we cant help you. #Havennews

[Episode 2x08 Friend or Faux first aired during this interval.]

September 8, 2011

VinceHaven (5:20 pm):

The Hawaiian state fish is the Humuhumunukunukuapua'a. It's pronounced: 'hoomoo - hoomoo - nookoo - nookoo - ah - poo - ah - ah' #HavenNews

DaveHaven (5:23 pm):

'@vincehaven: The Hawaiian state fish is the Humuhumunukunukuapua'a...' #HavenNews" Thanks, Vince. The people of Maine needed to know.

VinceHaven (5:24 pm):

@DaveHaven #HavenNews I admire a fish with a name bigger than it is!

DaveHaven (5:26 pm):

'@vincehaven: #HavenNews I admire a fish with a name bigger than it is!' I admire a fish on a plate that's bigger than it is.

DaveHaven (5:54 pm):

'@jamesjr55: @DaveHaven The lauwiliwilinukunuku'oi'oi AKA the longnose butterflyfish has a longer name #HavenNews' But can Dave eat it? ;

September 9, 2011

DaveHaven (7:33 am):

'@tyrstag: I prefer the English name 'Lunch. #HavenNews' A man after my own heart! Fish were made to be eaten, not pronounced!

VinceHaven (7:39 am):

'@kevinjbell001: @VinceHaven just watch 'forgetting sarah marshall'?' @DaveHaven should - lotta naked time coming when he loses! #HavenNews

[Episode 2x09 Lockdown first aired during this interval.]

September 15, 2011

VinceHaven (9:20 am):

#HavenNews After 37 years of loyal service, our two-slice Toastmaster finally gave up the ghost today. Anybody got as recommendation?

DaveHaven (9:22 am):

'@vincehaven: #HavenNews ... our two-slice Toastmaster finally gave up the ghost today.' I thought Louis was fixing it?

VinceHaven (9:26am):


VinceHaven (11:54 am):

'@MaryTheGeek: @VinceHaven @davehaven I think you need wives to do all of the cooking for you :-)' I didn't know wives still did that! ;-)

DaveHaven (11:55 am):

'@MaryTheGeek: @VinceHaven I think you need wives to do all of the cooking for you :-)'. That an offer? ;-)

September 16, 2011

VinceHaven (9:20 pm):

@tvgoddess47 Careful what you wish for -- in Haven, the law of unintended consequences is always lurking. Stay tuned... ;-)

[Episode 2x10 Who, What, Where, Wendigo first aired during this interval.]

September 23, 2011

VinceHaven (3:35 pm):

@bailey4142 #HavenNews We've had our hands full at the Haven Herald recently. Though it's always nice to hear youve been missed a bit ;-)

DaveHaven (3:41 pm):

@VinceHaven #HavenNews We'd be less busy if some of the Herald staff weren't so interested in making news, not just reporting it.

VinceHaven (3:42 pm):

@DaveHaven #HavenNews We're all doing our part to keep Haven wonderful. Something I try to remember about my brother.

ColdInHaven (3:43 pm):

@VinceHaven @DaveHaven I've been waiting for you two to resurface. I found an old newspaper. Do you remember Mara Kopf?

VinceHaven (3:46 pm):

'@ColdInHaven: @VinceHaven @DaveHaven I found an old newspaper. Do you remember Mara Kopf?' No. Are you alright?

DaveHaven (3:47 pm):

@ ColdInHaven Why don't you call us?

ColdInHaven (3:50 pm):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven #HavenNews Mara Kopf, 1958. You were there. Do you remember what happened?

VinceHaven (3:53 pm):

@ColdInHaven @DaveHaven Are you related to Mara Kopf, CIH? Why are you asking about her?

DaveHaven (3:55 pm):

@ColdinHaven @VinceHaven 1958 Was a very, very long time ago. What do you expect us to remember about what happened, CIH?

ColdInHaven (3:56 pm):

“@DaveHaven: @ColdinHaven @VinceHaven What do you expect us to remember about what happened, CIH?” Everything. I need to know.

VinceHaven (3:58 pm):

@ColdInHaven @DaveHaven #HavenNews There are places we have to be right now. If you won't call, your questions about Mara Kopf have to wait.

[Episode 2x11 Business As Usual first aired during this interval.]

September 24, 2011

ColdInHaven (8:05 pm):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven #HavenNews Are you guys there?

September 27, 2011

ColdInHaven (9:47 am):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven April 17th, 1958. What happened? I want the truth about Mara Kopf.

DaveHaven (9:50 am):

'@ColdInHaven: @VinceHaven April 17th 1958. What happened? I want the truth about Mara Kopf.' You've done nothing to earn the truth from me.

VinceHaven (9:53 am):

'@DaveHaven: '@ColdInHaven: You've done nothing to earn the truth from me.' Why is it always about earning it with you, Dave?

ColdInHaven (9:53 am):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven #HavenNews Whatever happened to Mara Kopf is happening to me!

VinceHaven (9:57 am):

'@ColdInHaven: @DaveHaven April 17th, 1958. I want the truth about Mara Kopf.' I remember what happened. Her house caught fire.

ColdInHaven (10:00 am):

“@VinceHaven: '@ColdInHaven: @DaveHaven 'Her house caught fire.' It was more than that! The fire department's hoses froze solid.

DaveHaven (10:02 am):

@ColdInHaven: @VinceHaven: 'The fire department's hoses froze solid.' This is not the place for this conversation.

ColdInHaven (10:05 am):

'@DaveHaven @VinceHaven: 'This is not the place for this conversation.' Why not?What are you hiding? #HavenNews

VinceHaven (10:08 am):

@ColdInHaven, @DaveHaven #HavenNews There's nothing to hide about the Kopf fire. Yes, we were there.

ColdInHaven (10:10 am):

'@VinceHaven: @ColdInHaven, @DaveHaven #HavenNews There's nothing to hide about the Kopf fire. Yes, we were there.' And you saved her life.

VinceHaven (10:17 am):

@DaveHaven #HavenNews '@ColdInHaven: You saved her life' It was more complicated than that, CIH

ColdInHaven (10:18 am):

“@VinceHaven @DaveHaven #HavenNews 'You saved her life' It was more complicated than that, CIH” There's a picture of you carrying her Vince.

VinceHaven (10:21 am):

@ColdInHaven @DaveHaven #HavenNews I carried Mara out of the house. Dave figured out how to thaw the hoses and save the house. That's all.

ColdInHaven (10:23 am):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven #HavenNews You were there, Vince was there -- but who was Sarah? Why was she there?

VinceHaven (10:26 am):

@VinceHaven @ColdInHaven #HavenNews Vince, Get off the Twitterbox and call me. NOW.

ColdInHaven (10:28 am):

'@VinceHaven: @VinceHaven @ColdInHaven #HavenNews Vince, Get off the Twitterbox and call me. NOW.'. that's it? You won't tell me anything?

VinceHaven (11:03 am):

@DaveHaven I'll see you at home. We have a problem.

VinceHaven (11:04 am):

@DaveHaven And stop hacking.

ColdInHaven (12:09 pm):

@VinceHaven @DaveHaven #HavenNews I'm not giving up.

September 29, 2011

ColdInHaven (5:17 pm):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven #HavenNews Why won't you talk to me?

VinceHaven (5:18 pm):

'@ColdInHaven: @DaveHaven @VinceHaven #HavenNews Why won't you talk to me?' Why have you been lying to us?

ColdInHaven (5:19):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven #HavenNews Why do you think I've been lying to you? You've seen what's happening to me happen before, to Mara Kopf.

VinceHaven (5:21 pm):

@DaveHaven @ColdInHaven #HavenNews Yes, I saw. Mara Kopf lived through a freak temperature inversion in the spring of '58.

ColdInHaven (5:24 pm):

'@VinceHaven: @DaveHaven #HavenNews 'a freak temperature inversion' That's the best explanation you could come up with?

VinceHaven (5:26 pm):

@DaveHaven @ColdInHaven #HavenNews It was the only explanation. You read all about it in our archives when you interned here.

VinceHaven (5:27 pm):

@DaveHaven @ColdInHaven #HavenNews ColdInHaven, you don't live in Haven at all. You're really Stephanie McCann, our old intern, aren't you?

ColdInHaven (5:28 pm):

“@VinceHaven: @DaveHaven #HavenNews 'You're really Stephanie McCann, our old intern, aren't you?' Busted, LOL. How'd you figure it out?

VinceHaven (5:29 pm):

@DaveHaven @ColdInHaven #HavenNews We never ran the picture of me carrying Mara from the fire. It had to be someone who'd seen our archives

ColdInHaven (5:30 pm):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven #HavenNews Guess my notes from back then weren't so great, huh?

VinceHaven (5:31 pm):

@DaveHaven @ColdInHaven #HavenNews Stephanie, what was this all about? Why did you do this? It's been very upsetting to both of us.

ColdInHaven (5:32 pm):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven #HavenNews I didn't mean to upset you guys -- I love you. I saw you on Twitter and thought it'd be a fun prank.

ColdInHaven (5:33 pm):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven #HavenNews You guys were always so into researching "tall tales"... I thought a mystery would be fun for you two.

VinceHaven (5:34 pm):

@DaveHaven @ColdInHaven #HavenNews It hasn't been a good time for jokes around here, Stephanie.

ColdInHaven (5:34 pm):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven #HavenNews I'm sorry. Are you mad? Is Dave?

VinceHaven (5:35 pm):

@DaveHaven @ColdInHaven #HavenNews I don't know what Dave is right now.

ColdInHaven (5:36 pm):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven #HavenNews I shouldn't have mentioned Sarah. Dave was always so touchy about her.

VinceHaven (5:37 pm):

@DaveHaven @ColdInHaven #HavenNews Dave got over him and Sarah long ago, Stephanie.

ColdInHaven (5:38 pm):

'@VinceHaven: @DaveHaven #HavenNews Dave got over him and Sarah long ago, Stephanie.' Maybe. But did he ever get over you and Sarah?

VinceHaven (5:40 pm):

“@ColdInHaven @DaveHaven: #HavenNews 'But did he ever get over you and Sarah?' Water under the bridge, now. Forget about it.

ColdInHaven (5:40 pm):

@DaveHaven @VinceHaven #HavenNews Can I come visit you guys sometime? I knitted a scarf for Dave.

VinceHaven (5:41 pm):

@DaveHaven @ColdInHaven #HavenNews You knitted Dave a scarf? That's sweet. Why?

ColdInHaven (5:43 pm):

'@VinceHaven: @DaveHaven #HavenNews You knitted Dave a scarf? Why?' You won the contest. Dave'll be cold running naked through Haven ;-)

VinceHaven (5:45 pm):

“@ColdInHaven : @DaveHaven #HavenNews 'Dave'll be cold running naked through Haven'. THAT is another picture I won't be running! C U Steph.

September 30, 2011

[Episode 2x12 Sins of the Fathers, the Season 2 finale, first aired two days after this story concluded.]

[End of Transcript]

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